TOMMY SHAW TRADED!!!!!

[yogi]

AP-Feeling there was no way to keep Tommy Shaw beyond 2005 Jim Cahil has reportedly traded Tommy Shaw to the Rolling Stones for 106 year old star Keith Richards. The deal includes Styx also receiving a dozen boxes of Depends, some Effordent and a lifelong supply of Geritol.

Styx spokesperson and legend James (JY) Young said he is very excited with the acquisition of Richards.' If we can keep him diapered and roll him out for about 4 more years I should be able to retire a rich man' Young was reported as saying. With the loss of Shaw, Lawerence Gowan and Young will pick up the majority of Styx's lead vocals. Gowan has been heard tweeking the lyrics of Styx's only number one hit Babe recently.

Richards who spoke from his third floor nursing home room seemed happy, but stunned by the trade. " If they would quit giving me prune juice with every damn meal around here I would be more excited about this trade" Richards was quoted as saying.

Shaw being a 10/5 man had recently refused a trade to Skid Row. Shaw and the Rolling Stones have not commented on the trade and the entire deal is still pending both Shaw and Richards passing a physical.

[DeeJaySTYX]

Yogi, LOL, You forgot about JY's comment that this is the best line-up ever to take the stage and Mr. Richards, Depends and all, can play circles around our former guitarist from Alabama....

[bugsymalone]

I understand Shaw balked at the Skid Row trade deal because they refused to re-adjust the mike stands, which were set for former frontman Sebastian Bach. Shaw adamantly refused to stand on the box provided for him so he could reach the microphone.

In a related story. Young has reiterated his pledge to "keep doing this until they scrape me off the floor," however, he is finding they must "scrape Keith Richards off the floor" after each concert.

Bugsy

[DeeJaySTYX]

OMG...LOL...

[sadie65]

Splurt!

In a surprise move, Gowan is seeking a trade to Barenaked Ladies, as he is winding down career and wanting to stay closer to home. He also cites carpal elbow and wrists from his years of revolving keyboard work.

Stay "tuned" for further developments.

Reporting live from the county fair

Back to you Yogi

[froy]

AP-Feeling there was no way to keep Tommy Shaw beyond 2005 Jim Cahil has reportedly traded Tommy Shaw to the Rolling Stones for 106 year old star Keith Richards. The deal includes Styx also received a dozen boxes of Depends, some Effordent and a lifelong supply of Geritol.

Styx spokesperson and legend James (JY) Young said he is very excited with the acquisition of Richards.' If we can keep him diapered and roll him out for about 4 more years I should be able to retire a rich man' Young was reported as saying. With the loss of Shaw, Lawerence Gowan and Young will pick up the majority of Styx's lead vocals. Gowan has been heard tweeking the lyrics of Styx's only number one hit Babe recently.

Richards who spoke from his third floor nursing home room seemed happy, but stunned by the trade. " If they would quit giving me prune juice with every damn meal around here I would be more excited about this trade" Richards was quoted as saying.

Shaw being a 10/5 man had recently refused a trade to Skid Row. Shaw and the Rolling Stones have not commented on the trade and the entire deal is still pending both Shaw and Richards passing a physical.

Thats the story I knew you had in you.

[yogi]

I wrote it just for you!!!!!!!!

[classicstyxfan]

(AP) According to reliable sources, the commissioner of Rock and Roll Has fined Lawrence Gowan $287.00, which is equivalent to a weeks pay for conduct unbecomming of a rock star. Gowan has been warned previously about butchering the vocals on songs originally sung by his predecessor in the band Styx, Dennis DeYoung, but continued to do so at show after show.

The Commissioner was skeptical as to weather the fine would put a permanent end to the nightly massacres because " some tone-deaf people keep telling the guy he's good.......gawd, there's no accounting for taste is there ? !"

[SuiteMadameBlue]

LOL - You guys are TOO funny!!! This has to be the funniest "assembly line" in ages - LOL

[bugsymalone]

In another related story:

Former MVP -- Songwriter/Producer/Singer/Keyboard/All Around Utility player -- Dennis DeYoung is watching from the sidelines, wondering if he will get the chance to play and take this team back to the glory it once had under his guidance.

Offered the top spot in Skid Row, he supposedly blew them off with a “HAH! ‘18 and Life’??? I will match you one ‘Babe’ and raise you one ‘Roboto’!”

Offered the back-up spot to Jagger in the Rolling Stones, DeYoung was reported to have let go an expletive and said “Jagger not only looks and sings like a girl, he THROWS like a girl, too!”

He is supposedly practicing his pitches, and a few keyboard riffs and vocal scales, with son Matthew, in his back yard. Quoted while taking a water break “I am ready to go in any time. I have been training hard and am still at the top of my game.”

Bugsy

[sadie65]

In another related story:

Former MVP -- Songwriter/Producer/Singer/Keyboard/All Around Utility player -- Dennis DeYoung is watching from the sidelines, wondering if he will get the chance to play and take this team back to the glory it once had under his guidance.

Offered the top spot in Skid Row, he supposedly blew them off with a “HAH! ‘18 and Life’??? I will match you one ‘Babe’ and raise you one ‘Roboto’!”

Offered the back-up spot to Jagger in the Rolling Stones, DeYoung was reported to have let go an expletive and said “Jagger not only looks and sings like a girl, he THROWS like a girl, too!”

He is supposedly practicing his pitches, and a few keyboard riffs and vocal scales, with son Matthew, in his back yard. Quoted while taking a water break “I am ready to go in any time. I have been training hard and am still at the top of my game.”

Bugsy

Team owner JY responded to this story by saying "the former keyboard player has never been able to play in circles. I'd recommend hockey, since that's the only sport in which he can skate by".

When asked for reports that his team members are holding out for better working conditions and more money, JY said "I cultivate teams. My motto is 'it's my way, or the highway'".

Negotiations continue as of this writing....

[Zan]

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