MR

Dang, I didn't expect this at all... We were over at my sister-in-law's house for dinner tonight, and my bro-in-law was showing me his new all-in-one antique-style turntable/CD/cassette/MP3 player -- looked pretty much like this:



So anyway, he pulled out a stack of old LP's, and popped on Kenny Rogers' Greatest Hits -- Kenny Freakin' ROGERS!

I was looking at the track list on the sleeve, and suddenly, repressed memories from my childhood awoke in my mind... I used to listen to this kinda stuff, before I'd even heard of KISS! This was even before I'd graduated on to the"Saturday Night Fever" and "Grease" soundtracks (and then to KISS, to my parents' eternal lament)! So here we are, jamming on Kenny, and all these lyrics re-emerged in my mind, for songs like "Lucille", "The Gambler", "Coward Of The County", and my favorite -- "Ruby (Don't Take Your Love To Town" -- a rather dark song about a disabled war vet whose wife cheats on him. I actually knew the songs word-for-word, and hadn't heard most of them since I was 8 or 9! This was FREAKY!

Listen, before Don Dokken, there was Kenny Rogers, and dude used to be a HELL of a storyteller. Hearing those songs again really gave me an appreciation for a type and quality of songwriting that nary exists anymore.

Kenny Rogers is a pimp. Love that guy. He sings lead on this song from The Big Lebowski:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ8k6fVe25k

Saint John wrote:Kenny Rogers is a pimp. Love that guy. He sings lead on this song from The Big Lebowski:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yZ8k6fVe25k

Plus, he makes damn fine chicken, too. I miss that place...

I LOVE KENNY ROGERS!!!!!!!

"Ya gotta know when to hold 'em....know when to fold 'em...know when to walk away, know when to run....you never count your money, when your sittin' at the table, there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done...."

Great, now you've got Kenny on my mind too!!!!

Just listening to the lyrics, the guy was a pure genius... assuming he actually wrote them.

Natalie wrote:I LOVE KENNY ROGERS!!!!!!!

"Ya gotta know when to hold 'em....know when to fold 'em...know when to walk away, know when to run....you never count your money, when your sittin' at the table, there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done...."

Great, now you've got Kenny on my mind too!!!!

EVERYONE knows the words, dipshit.

Serious bidness... check out these lyrics from "Ruby":

She's leavin' now 'cause I heard the slammin' of the door
The way I know I've heard it slam one hundred times before
And if I could move I'd get my gun and put her in the ground
Oh Ruby
Don't take your love to town
Oh Ruby
God sakes, turn around

That's raw!

"You Were a Good Friend". Classic.

Too weird - I was just thinking about KR before...how he's looked 44 with gray hair and (I guess) handsome since the mid-70's.

7 Wishes wrote:"You Were a Good Friend". Classic.

Too weird - I was just thinking about KR before...how he's looked 44 with gray hair and (I guess) handsome since the mid-70's.

That was before he got his face stretched beyond recognition...

Saint John wrote:

Natalie wrote:I LOVE KENNY ROGERS!!!!!!!

"Ya gotta know when to hold 'em....know when to fold 'em...know when to walk away, know when to run....you never count your money, when your sittin' at the table, there'll be time enough for countin' when the dealin's done...."

Great, now you've got Kenny on my mind too!!!!

EVERYONE knows the words, dipshit.

Who you callin' dipshit? You wanna piece of me? Come get it BITCH!!!

Rip Rokken wrote:Too weird - I was just thinking about KR before...how he's looked 44 with gray hair and (I guess) handsome since the mid-70's.

That was before he got his face stretched beyond recognition...[/quote]

Can't be as bad as Manilow. I saw that sorry dipstick on BBC Dancing With the Stars (don't ask), and he neither emoted nor did his face move at all when he belted out the end of "Copacabana". Dumbass even forgot the lyrics.

I liked him and Dolly together... they shore wuz cute.

I've actually sung "Lady" a few times before... one of the prettiest ballads I've ever heard. Kudos to Lionel Richie for writing it.

Best Lionel Richie song: "Just For Now".

7 Wishes wrote:Best Lionel Richie song: "Just For Now".

Bullshit!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YrRnNFgIUg

Kenny was a pimp, but he and Dolly dropped the 8 track and took it in the ass with Islands in the Stream. Islands in the Stream? What the fuck were they smoking?

I bet Kenny was rubbing one out to Dolly's milk bags daily. Bet he was bonered up like a cat on viagra.

I like this song, NOT by Lionel nor Kenny nor Dolly. But equally as nostalgic for me. It was the first song I learned the words to.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NbhXmSBlS_U

Saint John wrote:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1YrRnNFgIUg

That rules!!!

Rockindeano wrote:Kenny was a pimp, but he and Dolly dropped the 8 track and took it in the ass with Islands in the Stream. Islands in the Stream? What the fuck were they smoking?

I bet Kenny was rubbing one out to Dolly's milk bags daily. Bet he was bonered up like a cat on viagra.

I'd still like to ram my face between her tits and gyrate around like I'm having an epileptic seizure.

Saint John wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:Kenny was a pimp, but he and Dolly dropped the 8 track and took it in the ass with Islands in the Stream. Islands in the Stream? What the fuck were they smoking?

I bet Kenny was rubbing one out to Dolly's milk bags daily. Bet he was bonered up like a cat on viagra.

I'd still like to ram my face between her tits and gyrate around like I'm having an epileptic seizure.

Well, ya know, he was porking Dian Parkinson (the "Price Is Right" hottie) for a while. She also did Bob Barker!

Saint John wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:Kenny was a pimp, but he and Dolly dropped the 8 track and took it in the ass with Islands in the Stream. Islands in the Stream? What the fuck were they smoking?

I bet Kenny was rubbing one out to Dolly's milk bags daily. Bet he was bonered up like a cat on viagra.

I'd still like to ram my face between her tits and gyrate around like I'm having an epileptic seizure.

That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Rockindeano wrote:

Saint John wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:Kenny was a pimp, but he and Dolly dropped the 8 track and took it in the ass with Islands in the Stream. Islands in the Stream? What the fuck were they smoking?

I bet Kenny was rubbing one out to Dolly's milk bags daily. Bet he was bonered up like a cat on viagra.

I'd still like to ram my face between her tits and gyrate around like I'm having an epileptic seizure.

That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Dude... thanks... I about pissed myself laughing. Purple milkshake eating motherfuckers.

Rockindeano wrote:That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Or the Furburglar!!!

Rip Rokken wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Or the Furburglar!!!

Yeah what was his deal anyway? He is a thief, and prances around in a zebra outfit and a 4 foot wide Zorro lid. Um, dude, you ever heard of toning it down? Stupid assed dickhole.

Rockindeano wrote:

Rip Rokken wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Or the Furburglar!!!

Yeah what was his deal anyway? He is a thief, and prances around in a zebra outfit and a 4 foot wide Zorro lid. Um, dude, you ever heard of toning it down? Stupid ass.

Don't forget the fatassed little lesbot bird with the Amelia Earhart goggles!!!

I had a friend in college nicknamed "Grimace".

He downed a case between noon and 9 pm one Friday night. Then he chugged three pitchers at the bar across the street.

Fourth pitcher? Gone in 60 seconds.

Then the fucker looks at me...grimaces, his eyes roll back into his head, and he falls into his plate of fries.

So we drag him home. 36 hours later Larson wakes up...first thing he does is head for the fridge to down a sixer.


Another dude was PO'd at him for something. Second week of junior year, this guy takes a piss in Grimace's Scope...one of those huge gallon sized things you used to get from the same store your grandmother would get you the two gallon jugs of English Leather "cologne" for six bucks.

So he used it EVERY NIGHT for nine months. Somebody finally told him the last night before summer break. He kicked the other guy's ass but it was worth it.

Rockindeano wrote:

Rip Rokken wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Or the Furburglar!!!

Yeah what was his deal anyway? He is a thief, and prances around in a zebra outfit and a 4 foot wide Zorro lid. Um, dude, you ever heard of toning it down? Stupid assed dickhole.

Dude, why you blasting on Cheeseburglar? I loved that dude as a kid. Thought the fucker was real. Grimace always seemed like a fag to me. Who the fuck prances around in purple constantly? Oops...sorry Neal!!!

Prince has an affinity for purple and he has had some hot girlfriends.

7 Wishes wrote:Prince has an affinity for purple and he has had some hot girlfriends.

And probably some hot boyfriends as well!!!

Saint John wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:

Rip Rokken wrote:

Rockindeano wrote:That would be epic. I imagine it would be like blindfolding yourself and running into a bunch of Grimaces; you know those purple milkshake eatin motherfuckers at McDonald's.

Or the Furburglar!!!

Yeah what was his deal anyway? He is a thief, and prances around in a zebra outfit and a 4 foot wide Zorro lid. Um, dude, you ever heard of toning it down? Stupid assed dickhole.

Dude, why you blasting on Cheeseburglar? I loved that dude as a kid. Thought the fucker was real. Grimace always seemed like a fag to me. Who the fuck prances around in purple constantly? Oops...sorry Neal!!!

HAMBURGLAR!!!