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Anybody have any roommate horror stories, or positive...

Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:10 am
by S2M
roommate experiences?

Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:57 am
by S2M
Nobody?


Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 6:27 am
by Gin and Tonic Sky
My best roomate story.
When I was in the US Navy there was three of us sharing a barracks room. My rocket scientist roomate, John, decided that it would be funny to dump Nair in my other roomates (Scott) shampoo. Scott was damn near bald as it was so was none too happy and swore revenge. John happened to enjoy nickel beer night down at the local bar off base and would come home loaded on tuesday night. So late one Tuesday night Scott steals Johns shower dish, dumps the Dial out of it and replaces it with a nice soft freshly produced turd.
Wednesday am comes along and John jumps into the shower half drunk hung over still asleep and reaches into his soap dish . next thing we hear was this blood curdling scream come out of the head after having smeared some nice fresh brown soap all over his chest.

Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:36 am
by Everett
Do noisy upstairs neighbors count???

Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:39 am
by Don
Everett wrote:Do noisy upstairs neighbors count???
How hard is it for you to pound on the ceiling and tell your mom to keep quiet?

Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:47 am
by ScarabGator
Don wrote:Everett wrote:Do noisy upstairs neighbors count???
How hard is it for you to pound on the ceiling and tell your mom to keep quiet?
BOOM MOTHERFUCKERS, THAT JUST HAPPENED!


Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:53 am
by Everett
Fuck you don


Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 7:54 am
by S2M
Everett wrote:Fuck you
hun

Fixed it for ya.....


Posted:
Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:47 pm
by comedyisnotpretty
Back when I was in college in Arkansas a friend of mine had a pet tarantula which he named Henry. Everyone went home or to friend's homes for the Thanksgiving break. When we got back, much to our sadness poor Henry died.
Knowing that my roommate was pretty much a wuss, I thought that I would have a little fun at his expense. I borrowed the dead spider and propped it up on my friend's bed. When he got in that afternoon after a long swim team practice he was pretty wiped out.
First thing he did was fling his letters-men jacket on the bed. It moved the spider a little bit, but my roommate didn't notice. Then we started talking and he still didn't see it.
Then he flops down on his bed and his hand comes to rest on top of the tarantula. He pauses there for a few seconds and all at once it dawns on him that something is just not right. He lifts up his hand quickly and it makes the spider appear to move. Chris jumps up faster than I've ever seen anyone move and he is standing on the edge of his bed looking down in horror, shaking like the little girl-boy that he was. Dude's face is turning white like he has seen a ghost or something. I'm laughing my butt off! Yep, that was pretty fun.

Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:07 am
by Seven Wishes2
Two of my three roommates at UConn were wrestlers. To any of you who read my story about my fucked up crazy friend (Paul, better known as The Dragon) who mistook the shoe closet of some mammoth he hooked up with for a commode, this story DOES involve him.
These two wrestlers decided to jump The Dragon one night because he had Bogarted a dozen or so Keystone Lights from their fridge. They ganged up on him - the heavyweight wrestler (Grimace) held him down while the little Mick lightweight wrestler (Little Dick Leating) repeatedly farted in his face.
So The Dragon took his revenge a few days later by peeing in the one gallon bottle of Scope Grimace kept in his filthy bathroom. Keep in mind, this was mid-September - the beginning of our junior year. So The Dragon poured out about one third of the Scope and replaced it with his piss. Come the last day of school - right before finals - we were all getting Schlitzed, and The Dragon told Grimace he'd been gargling his urine for the better part of eight months. Took a while to contain the big man that night, but The Dragon is a strong tough guy in his own right so it more or less ended there.
The Dragon also extracted revenge on Little Dick when the little Irish fuck drank too much Turkey. He shaved "I love cock" into Little Dick's back hair, and while he was passed out, tied him all fours to the couch, and took a shit on his chest. Of course, when he woke up, he couldn't move, but he had this smelly, eight-hour-old steaming pile of fly-covered poop all over his stomach.
Oh, and Little Dick was an avid frisbee football player, and it took the better part of a week for someone to tell him about words on his back. So he tried to shave his back hair off, but couldn't reach all of it, so from behind he looked like a hairy pig with a combover.

Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:13 am
by Saint John
Seven Wishes wrote:Two of my three roommates at UConn were wrestlers. To any of you who read my story about my fucked up crazy friend (Paul, better known as The Dragon) who mistook the shoe closet of some mammoth he hooked up with for a commode, this story DOES involve him.
These two wrestlers decided to jump The Dragon one night because he had Bogarted a dozen or so Keystone Lights from their fridge. They ganged up on him - the heavyweight wrestler (Grimace) held him down while the little Mick lightweight wrestler (Little Dick Leating) repeatedly farted in his face.
So The Dragon took his revenge a few days later by peeing in the one gallon bottle of Scope Grimace kept in his filthy bathroom. Keep in mind, this was mid-September - the beginning of our junior year. So The Dragon poured out about one third of the Scope and replaced it with his piss. Come the last day of school - right before finals - we were all getting Schlitzed, and The Dragon told Grimace he'd been gargling his urine for the better part of eight months. Took a while to contain the big man that night, but The Dragon is a strong tough guy in his own right so it more or less ended there.
The Dragon also extracted revenge on Little Dick when the little Irish fuck drank too much Turkey. He shaved "I love cock" into Little Dick's back hair, and while he was passed out, tied him all fours to the couch, and took a shit on his chest. Of course, when he woke up, he couldn't move, but he had this smelly, eight-hour-old steaming pile of fly-covered poop all over his stomach.
Oh, and Little Dick was an avid frisbee football player, and it took the better part of a week for someone to tell him about words on his back. So he tried to shave his back hair off, but couldn't reach all of it, so from behind he looked like a hairy pig with a combover.

We need more of these stories.


Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:14 am
by S2M
So far no stories from the females....


Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:16 am
by StevePerryHair
S2M wrote:So far no stories from the females....

My first and only roommate was my husband....so I guess if I'm still married, it can't really be a true horror story


Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:17 am
by S2M
StevePerryHair wrote:S2M wrote:So far no stories from the females....

My first and only roomate was my husband....so I guess if I'm still married, it can't really be a true horror story

It may be one of those horror stories with a surprise ending....


Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:21 am
by Seven Wishes2
I had a female roommate one time (who was pretty damned hot but "unfortunately" a lesbian...more about that later) who thought I was out of town when I had actually decided to stick around...she was in the bathroom with the door open, and using the faucet in the bath as, let's say, a "means to a happy ending"...and the boys and I came back from yet another unsuccessful night on the prowl to hear her screaming pretty nasty things (over her horrible early-90's dyke music), completely oblivious (thanks to the X) of our presence. We laughed our asses off until she finished herself off, and she realized there were five dudes parked right outside the bathroom door.

Posted:
Sun Feb 20, 2011 10:22 am
by StevePerryHair
S2M wrote:StevePerryHair wrote:S2M wrote:So far no stories from the females....

My first and only roomate was my husband....so I guess if I'm still married, it can't really be a true horror story

It may be one of those horror stories with a surprise ending....

Why when you say that, does the movie Shrek come to mind...
