OT: No Sex Tonight

[Rick]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

[belar]

That's funny, Rick.

[Moon Beam]

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Baw-He-Hee-Ha-Haw Suckah, I have had it twice today.
Sorry Sir, you walked into the doorway of that one!

[Natalie]

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

[ohsherrie]

Ah geez, you neanderthals just don't get it.

[Just Mindy]

That was a good one.

[yulog]

[Granny]

Yulog, are u by any chance going to make the MR Concert Andrew is putting on? We need u there!

[journeyinto2001]

So freakin' true Rick.. And trust me, men and women will NEVER speak the same language. You have to be a fucking mind reader....not going to happen.

Great post!

[Rick]

So freakin' true Rick.. And trust me, men and women will NEVER speak the same language. You have to be a fucking mind reader....not going to happen.

Great post!

I thought it was great too. I got it in an email and figured this place needed some laughs.

[lights1961]

that was damn funny!!!!

Rick

[Sassie]

Oh wow you really had me going. I was telling my husband look here, look what Rick said to his girlfriend. Look what he is going to buy her. He even suggested SHOES!!!!!!!!! Then I read the rest in silence. I will never read that to him.

[DSHinMICH]

That was too funny! Thanks for posting it!

[conversationpc]

[WIX]

shoot, I was gonna say dump her.

[cittadeeno23]

That was funny! Reminds me of my exwife!! Actually, now that I think about how much money I lost on her, it's not that funny at all!!

[Rockindeano]

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

My computer has never told me those dreaded words. In fact, my computer never let's me down. I love my computer.

[Rockindeano]

That was funny! Reminds me of my exwife!! Actually, now that I think about how much money I lost on her, it's not that funny at all!!

You know why a man keeps a picture of his ex wife on top of his TV?












To remind him where his DVD/VCR went.

[Greg]

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look
by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in
the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We
went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond
earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was
one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because
she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play
tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all
dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled
WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she
was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and
not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

Yep, I've heard this one before!!! Funny stuff!

[yulog]

Yulog, are u by any chance going to make the MR Concert Andrew is putting on? We need u there!

Granny i cant commit to that yet , i have a lot going on right now its going to have to be a last minute deal --wish it was november would be a lot easier

[Ms_M]

That was funny! Reminds me of my exwife!! Actually, now that I think about how much money I lost on her, it's not that funny at all!!

You know why a man keeps a picture of his ex wife on top of his TV?

To remind him where his DVD/VCR went.

Gee, the reverse could be said, too... HE took the DVD and VCR, but I DON'T keep his picture up there. LOL!

[GrandIllusionist725]

Hahaha!!