This is classic:
Blotter: Worker single-handedly offends officer
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Contributed by: YourHub.com on 8/7/2007
An off-duty police officer reported seeing a one-handed construction worker masturbating at a job site on the 4100 block of Youngfield Street at 1:56 p.m. July 9, police said. When police contacted the man at 2:42 p.m., he said it was "absurd" that someone accused him of masturbating, and he denied doing anything that could have resembled masturbation to passers-by, reports said. The worker's supervisor allegedly told police she didn't think the man could be masturbating because - having only one hand - he wouldn't be able to hold the stop sign and masturbate at the same time. The case was still open at the time of the report pending further investigation by police.
http://denver.yourhub.com/WheatRidge/St ... 44503.aspx
John from Boston

