PARAPROSDOKIANS

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PARAPROSDOKIANS

Postby Deb » Fri Sep 02, 2011 5:51 am

Thought some of these were pretty good. :lol:

"Figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently used in a humorous situation."

Example: "Where there's a will, I want to be in it."

1. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

3. Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

8. Evening news is where they begin with 'Good Evening,' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.

9. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

10. A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

11. I thought I wanted a career. Turns out I just wanted paychecks.

12. Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, 'In case of emergency, notify:' I put 'DOCTOR.'

13. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

14. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

15. Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

16. A clear conscience is the sign of a fuzzy memory.

17. I’d ask God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

18. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

19. Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.

20. There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

21. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

22. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

23. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

24. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

25. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

26. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

27. A diplomat is someone who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you look forward to the trip.

28. Hospitality is making your guests feel at home even when you wish they were.

29. I always take life with a grain of salt. Plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.

30. When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Words of Wisdom
"The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese."
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Postby S2M » Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:05 am

Here's one of my own....

A man loved for what he has; has nothing.
Tom Brady IS the G.O.A.T.
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Postby ebake02 » Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:22 am

You can always count on the Americans to do the right thing, after they have tried everything else.

Dolphins are so smart that, within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I’ve had a wonderful evening, but this wasn’t it.
Penn Staters across the globe should feel no shame in saying "We are…Penn State." - Joe Paterno
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Postby StevePerryHair » Fri Sep 02, 2011 6:50 am

S2M wrote:Here's one of my own....

A man loved for what he has; has nothing.
I don't know....what if he's loved for his very large "package"?? I'd say for sure he has something then! Something he can make use if when he's all alone even!! :lol:
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Re: PARAPROSDOKIANS

Postby JH'sTXfan » Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:52 am

I thought you were posting about Jeff's favorite drink.
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Re: PARAPROSDOKIANS

Postby Behshad » Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:53 am

JH'sTXfan wrote:I thought you were posting about Jeff's favorite drink.



:lol:


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Postby JH'sTXfan » Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:57 am

That's how they're pronounced after about 3 of 'em.
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