A public apology

[TotoStu]

It has come to my attention that some of the things I have said in this board about Steve Lukather have been unfair. There are two sides to every story and I shouldn't believe everything I read.

However, I do maintain it was all from the perspective of a fan. A fan maybe who wanted his own way, but a fan nonetheless. I've never had anything personal against the man. I have enjoyed his work outside Toto as well as within.

I have been far too vocal about issues I have only the faintest information about and due to this I don't think it would be appropriate for me to take part in any future discussions about Toto, Bobby Kimball or Steve Lukather.

It's far too easy to make hurtful comments on the internet and then skulk away and not take responsibility. I never set out to be that guy, but it's what I became. Seems I can't undo some of the damage I've done - but I take accountability for it and stand here with my hands held up.

I hope the admin are kind enough to allow this post to stand so EVERYONE gets to see me admit my wrongdoing and see my apology.

I am very sorry for any hurt I have caused.

In an attempt to restore balance, I have gone through ALL my posts and deleted any content which may be hurtful - or the actual post itself where possible. Whether this was the right thing to do or not I'm not sure - but options open to me are limited and I'm doing what I can.

[Andrew]

Great to see.

Things happen with bands over the years, let's appreciate that there is a new album coming.

[TotoStu]

Thank you Andrew.

[The_Noble_Cause]

Passion from a fanbase is a good thing. If the fans aren't speculating and debating, you got a problem. That said, the only people who care more about the TOTO legacy than the fans are Paich/Luke. I trust them to deliver a new classic. The two Williams albums had great tunes.

[TotoStu]

Passion from a fanbase is a good thing. If the fans aren't speculating and debating, you got a problem.

Yeah well, if that's all I did it wouldn't be a problem. I turned off my Facebook and Twitter yesterday. The internet is like a loaded gun in that it can be very dangerous in the hands of someone who doesn't really know how to use it. Someone like me. Cause I don't know how to use it somebody got hurt.

I've been so wrong and I feel fucking shitty about it. I don't think the person I hurt really believes that I'm sorry but I promise you I am (don't ask me who it is cause names are for tombstones).

As for the new album, no disrespect to the band at all but I don't actually think I'll be buying it. Or the live package that's coming out in April. I want to, believe me I want to - but every time I see the word Toto it reminds me of what a dick I've been and I've had to hide all the stuff I've got away so I can't see it. That's my punishment I think. Ruined it for myself.

[JohnH]

Well I think based on past interactions we know who it is that got hurt and got after you don't need to say it.

[Red]

I don't know what you said that was so terrible but based on what you write here you are most definitely a terrific person. Don't be so hard on yourself!! Let go of it all. And if what you said was really bad, well, that other person should be grown up enough to accept an apology.

[TotoStu]

Well I think based on past interactions we know who it is that got hurt and got after you don't need to say it.

You might be surprised. But still, enough of that. Naming names ain't my game anymore.

I don't know what you said that was so terrible but based on what you write here you are most definitely a terrific person. Don't be so hard on yourself!! Let go of it all. And if what you said was really bad, well, that other person should be grown up enough to accept an apology.

Well if I was in that other person's shoes I wouldn't like it. I can understand why they are pissed off. Didn't set out to do it (I think I thought I was being critical rather than hurtful), but it's the way it came out of that makes any sense.

Thank you for your kind words. As for the other person, they are a human being. I have to accept the way they feel for now. I hope it will change, but maybe first I've got to prove I mean what I say. Actions speak louder than words.

Looking back at my past conduct I was pretty nasty. I didn't mean to be but I was. And I hate myself for hurting another human being's feelings. Fucking hate myself for it.

[Red]

It can't be the end of the world. You had the guts to offer an apology, I wish there were more people like you around the internet. Now turn on the green light on that old vinyl turntable of yours and spin "The seventh one"

[TotoStu]

It can't be the end of the world. You had the guts to offer an apology, I wish there were more people like you around the internet. Now turn on the green light on that old vinyl turntable of yours and spin "The seventh one"

Wasn't about having guts. It's just the right thing to do. Have to learn from it aswell, I promise you one thing: Whether my amends is accepted or not - I will NEVER, EVER go on a forum again here or anywhere else - unless I have something nice to say.

I'd love to listen to "The Seventh One", but I'm not sure I really have a right to enjoy it at the moment - so in the meantime I've been listening to Steely Dan!

[The_Noble_Cause]

Chicken, what are you talking about? Did you personally send abusive emails/tweets to Luke or something? It's just a band. Relax.

[JohnH]

Yea I can't remember Stu going nuts on Toto, so I have no idea either.

[TotoStu]

Chicken, what are you talking about?

All in the opening post my friend.

Did you personally send abusive emails/tweets to Luke or something?

No of course not.

It's just a band. Relax.

And human beings too.

A few people may be confused about what I'm doing here and why. Its simple. My parents didn't raise a punk. My kids aren't gonna grow up punks either. Sometimes we've got to look at our actions and think about how we treat other people. If we're not careful we become something we hate. That's why. I didn't like what I became. And I became it so fast without meaning too - it took someone to kind of tell me. That is why I'm here with my cap in my hand. I WILL NOT be that guy anymore. I just WILL NOT.

[TotoStu]

Just to let you guys know - the person who this apology was directed at HAS responded - and has been very kind. I feel pretty humbled by their kindness actually.

You will all see a big change in my attitude from now on. Thank you all for reading and for your kind words.