Boomchild wrote:LOL, the innocent victim label applied over and over to TS and JY is so pathetic. As if their own egos, personal motives and ambitions did not contribute to the problems that existed between them. Your stretching it with DDY's comment from BTM where he said hew could never imagine Styx performing without him. That wasn't self importance, it's more he never thought that would happen. The issue with Todd's comment is we don't know what led up to that situation. Tommy also seems to have a habit of avoiding and not directly expressing issues he has with the person they are with. The phone call to the radio station and the bit with the DJ is typical DDY schtick humor. If you have listened to enough interviews with him you would see that. As I have said before all of them have had their own issues that led up to what happened. So please spare us with the halo routine when it comes to TS and JY.
That may be true, that they all played a victim. It's also a perfect example of the Drama Triangle and why you all should read it.
They have all played the villan...the one who demands his way or he quits, or manipulates to get his way, or negotiats and bugs until people give in. He's the one who feels he's the most important, or that his contributiions are not recognized or respected, or demands more respect then he actually deserves.
All of them can fit into that at different times.
They have all been the powerless victim...the one who has things happen TO him. He's the person who does not have control of his own destiny. He is a "Why me?" person
Again, they have all been in that position.
Then there is the Rescuer. Who knows how many times in private when one has backed the other, JY coming to Tommy's rescue in arguments with Dennis, or vce versa...Or, JY defending Dennis when Tommy was on drugs. Or, whatever.
And, the fans come into this, too...Defending their side claiming the other is the villan and whoever they support is the victim.
So, they all swap roles in an endless cycle of blame, shame, and victimhood. And, here is the truth...they are all whiney victim, including the fans. A person in the villan role is really a victim who has an issue with others having more power and control...because they are afraid of being victimized again. A rescuer is a victim who hides their hurt by trying to get the 'high' of helping somebody else.
The interesting part is when you read about how to end the cycle:
You end the relationship with those who are dysfunctional and refuse to change and:
Be aware that others close to you may interpret your departure from the Triangle as a personal rejection. They may feel hurt and even get depressed when you refuse to participate in this crippled form of intimacy. Others may become angry and attack you. They may even try to turn others you care about against you by spreading rumors or even telling lies about you. While this won’t get them what they want (being close to you ), it will suck other people in to replace you on the Triangle. It may also get them some Victim payoffs via the Coke Machine Syndrome. Prepare for these challenges when you decide stop giving the pay-off that people are used to getting from you via the Drama Triangle. They will push your buttons harder. Then if that doesn’t work, they will push all your other buttons. And again if that doesn’t work, they may yell at you or try to make you feel guilty. If this doesn’t get them what they want, they may tell others what a bad machine you are. If you don’t get back on the Triangle with them, eventually they will have to go away in search of others who will play on the Triangle with them. -- "How to Break Free From the Drama Triangle"
Tommy and JY broke free from all the victimhood and drama when they fired Dennis. Yeah, you can argue there have been times when they hopped back on (JY interviews, for example). But, the fact remains they are the ones who took the proper action to end it and move on with their career.